Doomed Post??

Since graduating from college I've had 3 jobs. Durring my tenure at each of my two past jobs I have in some way written about the bathroom, and then in the next few months my position has been eliminated. In my current job i don't technically have a position to eliminate so maybe this will push them to create one for me.

So here we go.

In the office where I work, to get to the bathroom, we (both men and women) are forced to walk past the Coffee Room. It's just a tiny room with a coffee pot some cupboards and a sink; and yet, while it serves it's purpose of providing coffee to those who choose to drink it, it has another effect as well. A constant smell of old wet coffee grounds permeates the entire area around the bathroom doors. It reminds me of what it smells like if you dump your coffee grounds into a trashbag, then tie it closed, then two days later open it and stick your head inside.

I can bear the smell. Seriously, it's not all that bad. However I'm afraid it's going to eventually cause some sort of Pavlovian response where anytime I smell old coffee I'm gonna have to pee. I'm more concerned about this everytime I walk past there. I've started holding my breath, just to keep it from being engrained in my head tying urination and old coffee together. Sure right now you might think this silly but imagine the possibilities.

• Weeks from now while driving around the back of Starbucks, I feel a strange pressure on my bladder.


• Months from now while in Barnes and Noble, in the midst of ordering my usual Carmel Vanilla Mocha Frappaccino I strangely have to run to the back of the store to the restroom to relieve myself.


• Years from now while taking out the trash, the bag breaks spilling (among other things) coffee grounds on the driveway I unexplicably wet myself.

I cant deal with those consequences. Maybe I'll just go upstairs and use the bathroom that has heat.


technorati tags: bathroom, coffee, Pavlov